I needed this. I have spent the past 24 hours shell-shocked.
By pure chance I was not at my usual spectator spot at the marathon yesterday for the first time in 4 years: in front of the storefront where the first bomb went off.
It's all thanks to pure happenstance: for the first time in years I am no longer a remote worker; the company that acquired my startup last fall has offices in the suburbs and I am not yet past the 6 month moratorium on taking vacation days.
The unlikely series of events that led to me not being present until about 30 minutes after the blasts is something I am still coming to terms with. I almost don't have time to...my building is still under armed lockdown because I live a mere block from the scene. I dread having to walk that route someday soon.
Still, I hate the company that acquired my startup, even if the acquisition potentially saved me grave injury. I think it's past time I quit, instead of just complaining about it and hoping for dividends.
After the tragedies of 9/11 I had to return to my downtown office, just a few blocks from the towers. It was one thing to be there the day of (and quite similarly being in a situation of things being quite different had I been a little earlier that day) - but seeing the aftermath was quite tough. It gets better - and while the day and events has not been forgotten, the scene just doesn't bring that fear anymore - not for a long time now.
You'll be fine. Talk to your friends and family when you feel like you aren't. In the end, you will be fine.
The worst part about all of this has been the many scenes I saw on Monday that caused flashbacks to memories of 9/11. Nothing I saw Monday compares to the horror of being with friends waiting to find out that yes, their parents had died in the WTC. Even seeing blood and police everywhere steel feels abstract.
I am relatively certain that I won't be fearful (or at least I hope so). I just hope passing by the scene will not cause an emotional response that I can't hold back. Most weeks I pass by the spot a dozen times or more, and I don't want to unconsciously play a game of "what if" every time I'm there.
It's hard to predict the emotional response you might get - nothing is for certain until you are there. Right after 9/11 I was numb, but I didn't have a major response going back to our offices. My company at the time shut down not long after and I started working in midtown. It wasn't until the year anniversary that I decided to take a different route in to work, just to go by the proceedings down there - my emotional response was bad - I went to city hall park and sat there, reflecting for a good half hour before I could continue to work. I remember vividly an elderly woman coming and sitting next to me to make sure I was ok.
It takes time. The "what if" feeling is an awkward one to deal with - but instead of worrying, live life to the fullest. That "what if" will always be there for so many other reasons.
I was pretty shell-shocked for the first day too (it happened in the morning). I kept watching TV coverage of it (once I got home), until my friend came to visit and snapped me out of it. I felt like I was in a daze.
My advice in your situation would be: don't rush it. There's plenty of time to make these decisions when you are not shell-shocked. The important thing is the insight, the change of perspective. The decisions will follow naturally, but no need to make them while you're still dazed and confused.
A week or a month won't make that much difference to your decision - but they will mean that when you look back at it a year later, it won't be with the feeling that perhaps you rushed the decision.
Carpe Diem, my friend. Money is great, but if you had an experience like that, one that you felt was an eye opener, then do whatever you need to do. Like Jeff Bezo's Regret Minimization Framework.
I had a similar experience where I was almost T-Boned by a Semi Truck that ran a red light when I was 18 after I just graduated from High School (I am 21 now). It made me realize what I want to do, and is perhaps one of the best things that could have happened to me in its own morbid way.
I'm happy that you're okay. Just don't let it control your life in a negative way / cause you to live in fear. I know that sounds easier said than done. While not on the same scale, it took me a while to move past insane amounts of fear anything a nasty storm rolled through due to a traumatic tornado event when I was younger.
A life lived doing what makes you happy is a good thing. I realized that later in life than I should have.
I'm happy to say that my friends in the area were okay as well.
By pure chance I was not at my usual spectator spot at the marathon yesterday for the first time in 4 years: in front of the storefront where the first bomb went off.
It's all thanks to pure happenstance: for the first time in years I am no longer a remote worker; the company that acquired my startup last fall has offices in the suburbs and I am not yet past the 6 month moratorium on taking vacation days.
The unlikely series of events that led to me not being present until about 30 minutes after the blasts is something I am still coming to terms with. I almost don't have time to...my building is still under armed lockdown because I live a mere block from the scene. I dread having to walk that route someday soon.
Still, I hate the company that acquired my startup, even if the acquisition potentially saved me grave injury. I think it's past time I quit, instead of just complaining about it and hoping for dividends.