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One thing I noticed is that it is very, very lonely. I'm still trying to figure out ways to meet people and make friends, good friends even. No dice.

Maybe I'm just not very fun to be around.



Look for other people who are new -- new to town, new to the company, etc.. They'll probably also be more open to new connections.

The trouble with everyone else is that they already have their daily routine, their set circle of friends, possibly spouse & kids... they may well find you interesting, and even good friend material, but they'd have to shuffle up their lives to make space for someone new.

Lots of people live their entire lives in one area -- they may have best friends they've known since they were 7 years old. You're not going to displace something like that, and that has nothing to do with who you are.

Be patient & don't go negative -- it certainly takes more time (and more looking) than making friends in a university setting, but it happens just the same.


Sown,

Normally I wouldn't go off topic like this but I didn't see any way to contact you and I just wanted to tell you that:

a. Don't give up on finding friends. It may seem rough right now but these things have a way of changing over time so just persist and you'll succeed.

b. Lighten up. Smile a little. Instead of thinking crap like "I'm just not fun to be around", take a look about and realize "damn, what an amazing world. I have a rough time getting out and meeting people but when I stay in there are millions of people right here with me, just a few feet and two screens away."

Things'll work out. Don't worry.. :)


Or maybe you should stop trying so hard to meet people and make friends and just be


What do you mean?

If I don't try then I just stay at home.


I mean that, especially for introverts, trying hard to make friends usually is counterproductive. If instead you start finding things you actually enjoy and start enjoying them (forgetting there's people around) it's easier to engage in productive interactions


> If instead you start finding things you actually enjoy and start enjoying them (forgetting there's people around) it's easier to engage in productive interactions

I've tried that but I didn't see the same phenomena. But thanks for the suggestion. I also find that I don't really enjoy anything nowadays.




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