Keep those hobbies going. Keep playing soccer, or pool, or surfing. Keep doing yoga. Keep reading. Keep doing you. You’ll develop some great friends around those interests.
One of my most resounding fears is meeting people in different fields. In school, it's easy. I can go to a party, go out to a club with friends, or just sit down at a library table with a stranger and meet someone new.
Out of school, it seems those opportunities erode... and the majority of friends are either coworkers or friends from the past :(
For those of you who have graduated recently, how have you dealt with this? Not that tech friends aren't great - but diversity is wonderful.
People should share their friends and acquaintances more often. Mixing disparate groups of friends and quickly introducing new acquaintances to existing friends is a surefire way to build a community in the city you live in. This may seem old fashioned, but older folks need mixers—essentially friend referrals. If you get this ball rolling, it can cascade and you'll end up meeting people you truly connect with and share interests with. The easiest way to start is simply having a party where you allow coworkers to bring their friends. I've made really good friends by finding people that enjoy backpacking as much as I do and spending a night in the woods with them (for better or worse, heh).
My wife and I are having a Christmas party tonight where 40-50 people are coming. Hopefully out of that, two or more people will become better friends. 100% of these people are friends she or I have made after college, predominately through other people willing to share. For reference, we're in our late 20s.
Simply put, it's on you to build community after college. It doesn't get forced upon you like in a university.
I think joining a group of people is a great way to make new friends around an interest and that's usually industry agnostic.
Usually if I hear someone surfs, I'll invite them to surf pretty quickly and then follow up later about actually doing it. I've made a few really good friends this way.
College is interesting because it's forcibly social. Everyone is happy to make new friends but in the professional world, I've found just the opposite to be true. People are pretty set with the friends they have, most people seem to want something from them, many think.
That's why I really love making friends around interests because you start as that as your base rather than the commonality of an industry.
Also, make friends with the friends of your friends of the past. (If that made any sense...)
I find that the bulk of the people I meet who are not in tech are friends of my college acquaintances. I went to a liberal arts college, and then my path diverged from my classmates rather drastically after college. So most of my college friends are humanities types, either going to law school or med school or struggling to find employment. And their friends tend to be like them.
Basketball is a surefire way to meet people in any town, because it puts 10 strangers in the same spot and requires 5 of them to work together. If you play regularly at the same court, after a year you'll know 50 people pretty well.
Of course, your status among those people will be determined by how good you are at basketball and nothing else :)
Quite a few people find a life partner and/or a best friend or two during college -- if you're lucky, these people won't go down the same career path that you do, and you'll have an automatic link to new potential friends that way.
It's important to find ways to expand the people you meet, though, and nurture the connections you value even though you may move to a different city, etc..
Getting new real friends as an adult is trickier than at university -- most of the other adults you meet already have their circle of friends, routines of interaction, etc., and even if you click, spending time with you would mean spending less time with their existing friends and activities.
I haven't graduated recently, but I moved from Texas to New York City three years ago, and I've met most of my current friends through Reddit meetups and IRC channel.
There are general weekly meetups in a bar, and other meetups catering to more specific interests - rock climbing, board games, programming, etc.
Reddit itself may get some (well deserved) flack on HN, but it's just a community made up of people, and you can't forget the inverse of Sturgeon's law.
And if you can't find one that interests you, start one yourself. You have to pay but you get to pick the location, making it most convenient for you. You actually come out ahead. And most people really appreciate that you made the effort.
One of my most resounding fears is meeting people in different fields. In school, it's easy. I can go to a party, go out to a club with friends, or just sit down at a library table with a stranger and meet someone new.
Out of school, it seems those opportunities erode... and the majority of friends are either coworkers or friends from the past :(
For those of you who have graduated recently, how have you dealt with this? Not that tech friends aren't great - but diversity is wonderful.