*WITCHES’ DECREE AGAINST UNLAWFUL ROADWAY PASSAGE (AS HEREINAFTER SET FORTH)*
First Witch (intoning):
Thrice the blind crow caws at night,
Thrice the lantern’s waning light,
Thrice again, and so we say,
A binding writ we cast this day.
Second Witch (proclaiming):
By yew and ash, and roadside charm,
By wheel of cart and horse’s alarm,
No mortal foot shall traverse the thoroughfare
Except at Proper Pedestrian Passages, duly designated therein and thereto,
Whereat painted lines, or lawful signals,
Shall serve as solemn guide and direction.
Third Witch (forewarning):
Should any soul, notwithstanding these provisions,
Cross the roadway other than as herein provided,
Or disregard such authorized signals or official commands,
Said soul shall be subject to assessment of a pecuniary forfeiture,
Herewith imposed and enforceable by the sovereign’s agents,
Until due satisfaction of all fines and penalties be rendered.
All Witches (in chorus, concluding):
Double, double, heed and trouble;
Behold this decree that none shall rebuttle.
In witness whereof, we sisters three,
Have set our seal upon this fee:
Any who transgress this law be warned,
Within these words their fates be formed.
*Article the First (Definitions):*
(a) “Pedestrian,” says ye, be any swabbie wanderin’ on foot or rollin’ along in some contraption not be driven by the wind nor the fire in the belly of a mighty engine.
(b) “Roadway,” ye scurvy knaves, be that stretch o’ land claimed by wagons, coaches, and other wheeled beasts o’ burden, not meant fer yer careless trot about.
(c) “Crosswalk,” be them stripes on the deck of the street, showin’ where honest folk cross without fear o’ keelhaul or lash.
*Article the Second (Prohibitions):*
(a) Let it be known to all ye landlubbers: ‘Tis forbidden to cross the roadway at any point save that which be designated by the stripes or markers. Ye do not scurry before the carriages and coaches like a rat on a spar!
(b) Should there be signals or lights givin’ order to halt or proceed, ye must heed ‘em like the captain’s command. Defy ‘em, and ye be walkin’ the plank into the arms o’ the law!
*Article the Third (Exceptions and Pardons):*
(a) If an officer o’ the King or a lawful master-at-arms waves ye across, then by the beard of Blackbeard, ye may cross forthwith, no penalty clingin’ to yer breeches.
(b) If a dire emergency forces yer hand—fire upon the docks, or beasts run amok—ye may cross where ye must, provided ye don’t toss caution to the wind, lest ye be crushed under wheel or hoof.
*Article the Fourth (Penalties and Booty):*
Any scallywag who dares cross outside them stripes or disobeys them signals shall face a fine, a forfeit o’ coin, set by the courts of the Crown. Pay ye must, or swing in the rigging of the king’s justice! Yarr!
*Article the Fifth (Severability):*
If some learned barrister finds a hitch in one line o’ this here law, fear not. The rest of the Articles stand as tall as a mainsail in a gale, remainin’ firm and unbroken.
*Article the Sixth (When the Edict Takes Hold):*
From the day the Crown’s seal is fixed, this law be in full force. So mind yer step, ye scurvy dogs, and cross at the proper marks lest ye taste the lash of justice!
First Witch (intoning): Thrice the blind crow caws at night, Thrice the lantern’s waning light, Thrice again, and so we say, A binding writ we cast this day.
Second Witch (proclaiming): By yew and ash, and roadside charm, By wheel of cart and horse’s alarm, No mortal foot shall traverse the thoroughfare Except at Proper Pedestrian Passages, duly designated therein and thereto, Whereat painted lines, or lawful signals, Shall serve as solemn guide and direction.
Third Witch (forewarning): Should any soul, notwithstanding these provisions, Cross the roadway other than as herein provided, Or disregard such authorized signals or official commands, Said soul shall be subject to assessment of a pecuniary forfeiture, Herewith imposed and enforceable by the sovereign’s agents, Until due satisfaction of all fines and penalties be rendered.
All Witches (in chorus, concluding): Double, double, heed and trouble; Behold this decree that none shall rebuttle. In witness whereof, we sisters three, Have set our seal upon this fee: Any who transgress this law be warned, Within these words their fates be formed.
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*Avast! The Anti-Jaywalkin’ Articles*
*Article the First (Definitions):* (a) “Pedestrian,” says ye, be any swabbie wanderin’ on foot or rollin’ along in some contraption not be driven by the wind nor the fire in the belly of a mighty engine. (b) “Roadway,” ye scurvy knaves, be that stretch o’ land claimed by wagons, coaches, and other wheeled beasts o’ burden, not meant fer yer careless trot about. (c) “Crosswalk,” be them stripes on the deck of the street, showin’ where honest folk cross without fear o’ keelhaul or lash.
*Article the Second (Prohibitions):* (a) Let it be known to all ye landlubbers: ‘Tis forbidden to cross the roadway at any point save that which be designated by the stripes or markers. Ye do not scurry before the carriages and coaches like a rat on a spar! (b) Should there be signals or lights givin’ order to halt or proceed, ye must heed ‘em like the captain’s command. Defy ‘em, and ye be walkin’ the plank into the arms o’ the law!
*Article the Third (Exceptions and Pardons):* (a) If an officer o’ the King or a lawful master-at-arms waves ye across, then by the beard of Blackbeard, ye may cross forthwith, no penalty clingin’ to yer breeches. (b) If a dire emergency forces yer hand—fire upon the docks, or beasts run amok—ye may cross where ye must, provided ye don’t toss caution to the wind, lest ye be crushed under wheel or hoof.
*Article the Fourth (Penalties and Booty):* Any scallywag who dares cross outside them stripes or disobeys them signals shall face a fine, a forfeit o’ coin, set by the courts of the Crown. Pay ye must, or swing in the rigging of the king’s justice! Yarr!
*Article the Fifth (Severability):* If some learned barrister finds a hitch in one line o’ this here law, fear not. The rest of the Articles stand as tall as a mainsail in a gale, remainin’ firm and unbroken.
*Article the Sixth (When the Edict Takes Hold):* From the day the Crown’s seal is fixed, this law be in full force. So mind yer step, ye scurvy dogs, and cross at the proper marks lest ye taste the lash of justice!