"you have to do it with compassion, sympathy, empathy, love, and tact".
I want to share this anonymously: my girlfriend has been steadily getting fatter, and I've always tried to be honest.
She once asked me "do you like me as I am?" referring to her body, and I made the mistake of telling her "yes, but I wouldn't want you to get fatter" (she was chubby at the time).
Since then, she put on 60 pounds; one day our lovemaking wasn't particularly enthusiastic, and she asked why - I made the mistake of replying with brutal honesty (though I tried to soften it) that her body didn't turn me on as much as before.
She now says she'll never be able to forgive me or to forget it (even though I've never referred to her weight anymore).
And being fat for someone who wasn't before and is sensitive is quite sensitive - honesty doesn't help. A little girl told her (like little girls might innocently do): "you're fat" and she's been awful for two days.
On a related issue, if someone can direct me to couples counseling online I'll be very grateful (I already go to a therapist once a week, but it's not enough). A startup in that space maybe? :)
I want to share this anonymously: my girlfriend has been steadily getting fatter, and I've always tried to be honest.
She once asked me "do you like me as I am?" referring to her body, and I made the mistake of telling her "yes, but I wouldn't want you to get fatter" (she was chubby at the time).
Since then, she put on 60 pounds; one day our lovemaking wasn't particularly enthusiastic, and she asked why - I made the mistake of replying with brutal honesty (though I tried to soften it) that her body didn't turn me on as much as before.
She now says she'll never be able to forgive me or to forget it (even though I've never referred to her weight anymore).
And being fat for someone who wasn't before and is sensitive is quite sensitive - honesty doesn't help. A little girl told her (like little girls might innocently do): "you're fat" and she's been awful for two days.
On a related issue, if someone can direct me to couples counseling online I'll be very grateful (I already go to a therapist once a week, but it's not enough). A startup in that space maybe? :)