I've been through similar experiences, as I am 26 and started my first high paying programming gig when I was 22. You can't change the past, but you can learn from it. You can always find another job, save money, and work on the side for yourself. You should work on side projects constantly even while you are working. Even if you have to get a normal job somewhere, do it just to help you get by.
Once you can built stuff on the side, just keep building stuff and eventually you'll find the right side project that needs more of your time and has more potential. Don't just quit to quit, quit because you have a project that you truly believe in and you want to make it your job.
I just think that this is an experience that you had to go through, a learning experience. There is no reason to be thinking of suicide right now, you have your entire future ahead of you. Believe me, that job is not your only chance you will have more. Keep building your skills, keep working on your own so that when you get to an interview you can show them what you've been doing in your time off.
Once you can built stuff on the side, just keep building stuff and eventually you'll find the right side project that needs more of your time and has more potential. Don't just quit to quit, quit because you have a project that you truly believe in and you want to make it your job.
I just think that this is an experience that you had to go through, a learning experience. There is no reason to be thinking of suicide right now, you have your entire future ahead of you. Believe me, that job is not your only chance you will have more. Keep building your skills, keep working on your own so that when you get to an interview you can show them what you've been doing in your time off.
Good luck