I’ve seen these relationships cause major problems. Bob had a relationship with Alice, and now couldn’t fire her because it would look like quid pro quo (not getting into details here). Alice was the worst manager I have ever worked for, and many of her direct reports were quitting without notice (including me).
Even though what happened between Alice and Bob was consensual, it made it impossible for Bob to do his job. Alice and Bob were both fired.
You can’t effectively distinguish between a “good relationship” and a “bad relationship” so a blanket rule makes the most sense. The issue is not necessarily about whether the relationship itself is ethical, but how it appears to observers and if it affects the organization.
Blanket rules completely ignore human behavior, though. If two people want to sleep with each other, nature doesn't really care much about your rulebook (or outside opinions, which don't matter if leadership is keeping office drama in check).
It's almost a virtual certainty that at some point in time, rules be damned, employees will hook up.
> Bob had a relationship with Alice, and now couldn’t fire her because it would look like quid pro quo. Alice was the worst manager I have ever worked for
This seems like a problem caused by relationship policy and optics rather than the relationship itself. Doesn't Bob have a manager that can get involved to explicitly get rid of Alice?
> This seems like a problem caused by relationship policy and optics rather than the relationship itself.
Yes, that's what I mean when I said, "The issue is not necessarily about whether the relationship itself is ethical, but how it appears to observers and if it affects the organization."
If you need to get Bob's manager, Carol, involved to manage Alice when things go poorly, it means that you should have had Carol managing Alice from the beginning. This is the only way I've ever seen it work well. Alice is under Bob in the org chart but all of her performance reviews are done by Carol, and Carol signs Alice's pay sheets, et cetera. I've seen this particular case happen a few times where Alice is Bob's daughter or where Alice and Bob were married before they came to the organization.
Even though what happened between Alice and Bob was consensual, it made it impossible for Bob to do his job. Alice and Bob were both fired.
You can’t effectively distinguish between a “good relationship” and a “bad relationship” so a blanket rule makes the most sense. The issue is not necessarily about whether the relationship itself is ethical, but how it appears to observers and if it affects the organization.