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somehow representing a surplus or deficit of electrons, neither of which is true.

If an electric charge of -4e doesn't represent a surplus of 4 electrons, what does it represent? Surely not a deficit of 4 protons, since they are much harder to move around?

Perhaps you feel it represents a transient property of matter that just so happens to be closely related to, but not defined by, the movement of elementary particles? That's a reasonable position to take, if you don't have to effect a charge.



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