Alternative hypothesis: Men are harder on other men because they can be more honest, with less fear that any criticism will be misconstrued into something that ends with an -ism.

You should avoid sarcasm on HN because it doesn't lead to useful or interesting discussion, and because it's indistibguishable from the viewpoints some people actually hold.

Note that the first point is still true if you include the /s tag.

It's not clear that you're being sarcy. These days a lot of people hold genuine beliefs that are indistinguishable from sarcasm.

How much more over the top do I need to be?

Especially when it comes to feminist topics, I don't think it's possible to be so over the top as to be obviously sarcasm.

See Poe's law: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poe%27s_law

Not to mention that the behaviors parent described sometimes actually happen in the wild.