This is so important. I have a 3yo and wife, I currently work for a series-A startup - It's incredibly easy to do things out of hours, answer messages, train, lab things up, etc... But at the end of the day that is a part of my career.
So except for when I'm traveling for work, I don't do a GD thing past 5pm, unless i choose to. When I choose to, it's likely because a lot of my team is in IST time zone rather than EST.
When you're a family person, your job is to be there for yourself first, your family second, your other commitments after that.
I have a weekly 4:30p friday call. Would i rather have that at 1:30p? Yes. But i've chosen to work remotely in Ohio instead of move to Cali like the last four companies have asked. So I take that friday 4:30p call.
But you better believe that i check out until monday after that.
During the week I'll take odd hour calls for my counter-parts in IST, but that's nearly entirely out of courtesy than necessity.
Take care of things in the following order:
1. You, as a human, holistically
2. Your family, spouse first, kids second
3. Your work
4. Everything else
It's reduced a huge portion of stress from my life by doing this.
You've said it twice, and I'll reiterate it a third time. Your own well being has to come first. You can't deliver on the rest of your commitments if you neglect your own needs. Being a martyr does not serve those who depend on you.
I am trying to move to a country where this is a reality... I just need a life outside of work (and some quiet and peace and fewer people around me all the time) I want to be able to sit down in the park, stroll around the neighbourhood, ride cycle, swim, cook, etc without the worry of job looming over my head all the time. I want to live for myself.
Come to Siem Reap, Cambodia. Start your day with a sunrise walk to the gym ($40/month). Grab an omelette and coffee for $3. Head home by 9am before it gets too hot. Work/learn/read/nap in the AC until 5pm. Take a sunset bike ride through the temples of Angkor Wat. Grab dinner downtown at the open breeze restaurants while people watching ($2-3 for a healthy meat and vegetable stir fry, $1 for pancakes, $2 for fried rice). Grab some drinks ($1) and play billiards with some friends. Head home to your modest 1 bedroom apartment for the night ($300/month). Not to mention the locals are really friendly here and if you’re in to helping out in some of your free time, you will be greatly valued and appreciated!
There’s a few other expenses and some cons of living here but some research and YouTube videos will help you figure out if it’s right for you. And of course you can ask me :)
Fair point. I'm not chasing happiness, but rather seeking a lifestyle that is more in line with my personal preferences and values, such as quiet/peace, fewer people, and cooler weather. On days when I get to experience these, I feel very content with my life and more in control of it, All the other problems don't bother me much when these basics are right...
We just did an extensive remodel of our house, which was around $200k to complete. I had lots of conversations with the tradesmen involved. The master tradesmen, plumber and electrician specifically, each made between $130k and $150k in 2018. They’re also actively turning down work and begging for help that’s worth a damn. The general contractor easily makes north of $200k, judging from his lifestyle compared to ours. For reference, this is Columbus Ohio. So while the median income listed above is a great income, the upper end of incomes for tradesmen can be quite high.
I’m using the latest 5.9 kernel on Debian buster. I had to compile from source and make a small patch to get the build working. Happy to share a gist. I wanted to use ads 2.0 but if you want something g mower friction use Ubuntu focal I think there are packages already in the distro
